


Bonded by Darkness

by kayjay107



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Loss of Virginity, Slow Build, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-19 19:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayjay107/pseuds/kayjay107
Summary: "You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force." This was the same thing he'd said to her as they were battling on Starkiller Base. This time though, it didn't seem so ridiculous.It was true that she seemed to be ineffective with the light side of the Force now. Her own confliction prevented her from blocking Kylo Ren from her mind. And if Kylo had full access to her mind, she could continue to fight that or she could embrace it."And why would you offer me this? " Rey stared at him intently, waiting for his reply.Kylo did not hesitate with his answer. "I've seen your power with the light side of the Force. We're both curious to see how that power would grow with the dark side. I want to show you that. I want you to join me. You know that."





	1. Chapter 1

She can still feel it. She can still feel _him_. It has been three weeks since the battle on Crait, since she and her fellow resistance fighters escaped. It’s been three weeks since she last acknowledged Kylo Ren through their force bond as she was boarding the Millennium Falcon.

Despite the time and the distance though, she could still feel his presence. Feel him pressing in on her mind. She’d learned very quickly to build a mental wall around her thoughts. And although that wall kept him from peering in, it did not make him imperceptible. His presence felt like a weight, growing heavier with each passing day, testing her strength and her will power.

Rey wasn’t sure if he was actively trying to pry into her mind, or if it was some artifact of the force bond. Regardless of the cause, she knew her course of action: no contact. She would not give that man the satisfaction of being acknowledged.

She refocused her mind on her surroundings. Desert. Barren, empty desert. It reminded her of Jakku more than she liked. She and what was left of the resistance were hiding out on the uncharted desert planet of Nyla. Unknown to nearly everyone else in the resistance, Leia had built a heavily provisioned bunker here should the resistance need somewhere to fall back. Her forethought and precautions likely saved their lives, for they would have been stranded without supplies otherwise. Rey thanked the Force for that woman.

Rey strode across the sand until she reached the cliff face which concealed the entrance to their bunker. She carefully stepped inside while her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. She walked to her small room, taking off her shoes and settling onto her bed.

She felt alone.

Utterly and completely alone.

She closed her eyes and the loneliness turned her thoughts back to Ahch-To and her time in the dark cavern, staring into the mirror which showed her nothing but herself. She shivered as she felt the familiar wave of coldness that dwelling on this memory brought.

She usually banished the memory from her mind before the coldness really began to set in. However, she continued to dwell on, relishing the chilling wave was it crept through her body. This was new. This was different. The wave spread from her mind down through the rest of her body until she felt consumed by it.

Rey knew what the coldness was as it permeated her body. She found that out the first time she’d meditated on Ahch-To. The darkness. It called to her then and it calls to her now. And instead of turning it away, at this moment, she decided to embrace it.

The dark energy had spread from her mind to her heart, and now she could feel it spreading to her fingertips and toes. The moment her body was consumed, the world around her seemed to fall silent. The confusion of the universe disappeared, and replacing it was a sense of perfect clarity. She’d never felt this kind of connection with the Force before. There was a softness about her connection with the light side. A weakness even. But this… This connection was solid and precise. This connection was _powerful_. Almost like she could reach out, grasp the darkness surrounding her, and wield it to her will.

This connection scared her.

All at once she forced the coldness from her body, leaving her breathless. She sat still for a moment before opening her eyes. She breathed in sharply when she processed what she saw.

Kylo Ren. Sitting cross-legged in front of her, staring curiously and intently at her face.

Rey froze, not moving a muscle. How had Kylo reached her through their force bond?

Rey’s first instinct was to inspect the mental wall she’d built to keep Kylo Ren out. Her mind glided over its smooth surface until she saw it. She realized that the once perfect mental wall she’d worked so hard to maintain seemed to have long, jagged cracks. She attempted to fix them in her mind, but the cracks stayed. They seemed to be foundational flaws and were irreparable.

She refocused her attention to the man sitting in front of her. She could feel him in her mind now. And this was no longer just the feeling of his presence that she’d felt consistently for the last three weeks. He could feel him gently sifting through her thoughts. Trying to figure out happened. Rey tried to force him from her mind, but again her wall was frustratingly ineffective now.

He spoke now, his voice deep and calm. “Your mental wall is forged from the light,” he murmured slowly. The intensity of his gaze was unsettling. “Darkness appears to have cracked it.”

The frustration she was feeling transformed into feelings of disbelief. She searched through her emotions and found what she was looking for. A small source of darkness had rooted itself in her mind. She’d momentarily followed the call of the darkness earlier and now it lived inside of her. Cold and calculating and powerful. She felt ashamed of herself.

“Don’t feel ashamed,” he said at that moment, interrupting her mental dialogue. This was unfair. He could peer into her mind, but she couldn’t peer into his. Rey reached forward with the force to break into his mind. However, all she found was a perfect curtain of darkness. Glossy and smooth with no purchase to begin prying. She continued searching and found nothing.

She was aware that Kylo knew what she was doing. She knew he could have forced her from his mind completely. Instead he tormented her, letting her see the perfection of his mental wall, never letting her find a way to enter.

“You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.” This was the same thing he’d said to her as they were battling on Starkiller Base. This time though, it didn’t seem so ridiculous.

It was true that she seemed to be ineffective with the light side of the Force now. Her own confliction prevented her from blocking Kylo Ren from her mind. And if Kylo had full access to her mind, she could continue to fight that or she could embrace it.

But she knew better. The darkness only had a small hold on her now. If she let the Supreme Leader of the First Order be her teacher… She couldn’t imagine a scenario where the darkness inside of her didn’t grow.

And beyond the darkness that had taken its hold was the Force bond that she and him shared. She should be working to shut him out, not actively welcoming him in. She needed to follow the light, to help the Resistance. That meant that Kylo Ren could not be a part of her thoughts.

“I can show you how to block me out.” That certainly made Rey pause for a moment. She stared back at him with an expression that conveyed her sense of disbelief. “I know you tried searching my mind. I know you found nothing. I can show you how I do it.”

“And why would you offer me this? “ Rey stared at him intently, waiting for his reply.

Kylo did not hesitate with his answer. “I’ve seen your power with the light side of the Force. We’re both curious to see how that power would grow with the dark side. I want to show you that. I want you to join me. You know that.”

She thought about that. If she didn’t let him teach her, he would continually be able to peer into her thoughts. And what if he saw something that he shouldn’t? She could accidentally expose the Resistance. If she did though, he would try to persuade her to join him. He would want to continue showing her the dark side of the force. And that is probably more dangerous. She didn’t know what to do.

“Just let me teach you this, Rey. You can then decide if you want me to keep teaching you.” He stared at her with a fervor that she hadn’t seen in him before.

Rey looked away from him, the intensity of his gaze becoming uncomfortable. “Okay,” she said quietly.

“Let’s meet tonight,” he murmured. Their Force bond then dissolved and Kylo Ren was gone, leaving Rey alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

It was midnight. The bunker on Nyla had gone quiet as everyone went to sleep. However Rey sat on the edge of her bed, wide awake, waiting for Kylo Ren to make his appearance.

His words from their earlier meeting echoed in her mind. _Your mental wall is forged from the light. Darkness appears to have cracked it._ She thought on that for a while. She’d been able to deny how the dark side of the Force called her until now. She’d been able to drive it away. But now her confliction had made her weak. Her light cracked by the darkness. Her connection with the light was no longer strong enough to deny her connection with the dark. She shivered at that thought.

Rey sensed his arrival before she actually saw him. She felt their Force bond surge, and turned her head to see Kylo Ren standing in the corner of her room. There was something new about his presence this time though. An attraction. It felt to her like the Force was physically pulling them together. Just as quickly as she felt it though, the feeling went away. Rey glanced up to see Kylo, and found him staring back at her. It was then that she noticed his presence in her mind. He knew the attraction she had just felt. The question was if he felt it too.

“You need to stop prying into my thoughts,” Rey said rather coldly.

“You need to learn how to stop me.” The corners of his lips twitch as he says this. Almost as if he is trying to hold back a smile. She spends a moment too long staring at his lips before meeting his gaze. She notices an expression of curiosity on his face.

Rey lets out a long sigh. “Show me.” He does not move. “Please?” she adds.

He strides toward her to sit on her bed and they both turn to face each other. “You will need to forge a new wall. But this one must draw from the darkness.” She nods once and he continues. “You need to meditate on the source of that darkness. And then you need to find a catalyst to make that grow.”

“Close your eyes,” he commands. She does as she’s told. “Explore your thoughts and feelings and fears and desires. Find where the darkness starts and find a way to feed it. Then try to shut me out.”

Rey searches through her own thoughts. Finding where the darkness starts in her is easy. Her mind so naturally drifts to the fear and rage that exists there. Feeding that darkness proves to be more challenging though. She lets her anger at the loss of her friends fill her, and her fear that what was left of the Resistance may not be able to combat the First Order. She attempts to use these feeling as building blocks on the darkness within her, and although the feelings are strong, they don’t seem to be powerful enough.

“Your fear and anger are fundamentally based on concern for others,” he says quietly. “ That won’t be good enough to stoke the darkness.”

Rey refocused her efforts to find a new feeling to use. And this time her thoughts drifted to Kylo Ren. The way he’d forced his way into her mind on Star Killer base. Their light sabre dual as the world around them crumbled. Their battle with the entire Praetorian Guard after Kylo had killed Snoke. Their Force bond that made it possible for him to be sitting in front of her now, even though he was across the galaxy. And just earlier, the feeling of that momentary magnetic pull of the Force between them.

She was now feeling that same attractive pull again, and suddenly felt very embarrassed to have Kylo Ren as a spectator to her thoughts. That pull toward him stirred something else inside her though. Something dark and lustful and dangerous. She shivered and drew on those dark lingering thoughts. She used her confliction and confusion and hatred and curiosity toward the man in front of her to feed the source of darkness in her mind. Then she felt the darkness expand within her. It surged forward, like the tides rising in the night. It swept through her mind and body and she could feel the waves of darkness converging, fusing in a freezing torrent until finally there was silence. Smooth, perfect, uninterrupted silence surrounding her mind.

She stared wide-eyed at Kylo Ren. There was something dark about her Force bond with Kylo Ren. And something darker still about this attraction to him that she felt. He could feel him pressing in on her new mental wall, testing it, trying to find a weakness. He found none.

“Well done,” he said.

Rey could not bring herself to speak. The way the darkness wrapped itself around her was amazing and terrifying all at the same time. She felt a power at this moment that she’d never felt before. And she relished the feeling more than she cared to admit. She wanted to be powerful. Wanted to dominate and control. For so long she hadn’t been able to fully understand the intoxicating draw of the dark side. She understood it now. And she wanted more.

He stared at her, bewildered.

Rey looked up to see his gaze. “You bring out the dark side in me, Kylo Ren.”

“Good.”

Rey studied his face, trying to figure out what emotions he was trying to hide from her. She decided to test his mental wall, casting her Force in his direction in an attempt to penetrate it. It was like running into a solid brick wall. Painful almost. He cast her out of his mind, throwing her backwards physically as well until she slammed into the wall behind her bed.

 “No,” he said coldly.

She glared at him.

“I want to know if you feel the Force pushing us together like I do.” Rey continued to hold his gaze. He stayed perfectly still. “I know you were reading my thoughts when I felt it. Tell me.”

He looked away from Rey to stare at his hands. He seemed conflicted.

“I’ll let you be my teacher if you tell me,” Rey continued.

That made him look up. He breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. There was nothing but silence and the Force between them. Then he made a small nod, and he sensed his mental wall shifting. He was going to show her.

She pushed herself into his thoughts, more gently this time though. And there he played his memory for her. It started with him in his quarters on his ship. He reached out to their Force bond, prodding it until is surged with energy and suddenly he could see her. And not a moment after he laid eyes on her came a new feeling. An inexplicably strong pull in her direction. She felt how Kylo had leaned backwards just a little, almost as if he was trying to counteract the pull. She could feel everything he was feeling as if the emotions were her own. She searched through the memory as long as he allowed her. She found something else in the memory as she was searching though. Feelings of vulnerability and self-consciousness. He was nervous about seeing her…

His mental wall closed at that instant. He clearly had not wanted her to see that part. Rey looked at Kylo’s face to see that his cheeks were ever so slightly flushed.

“I’ve taught you how to shut me out. I’ve shown you what you asked. And now you know that yes, I feel the pull between us too.” He said all of this while continuing to avoid eye contact with Rey. “Now. Will you let me teach you?”

She simply nodded her consent. The corners of his lips twitched again as she did this.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Good night, Kylo.”

“Good night.” Rey dissolved their connection this time. She fell asleep as she thought of him.


	3. Chapter 3

Morning came too soon. Rey woke to the sound of her alarm, and almost immediately memories from the night before flooded her mind. She had agreed to let Kylo Ren teach her the ways of the dark side. It terrified her and excited her at the same time. She took a moment to briefly reflect on the new way the Force moved within her now. It moved with an unfamiliar passion and coldness and power that wasn’t there before.  She didn’t have much time to dwell on these thoughts right now though. She was supposed to be meeting with Leia first thing. Rey only hoped Leia would not notice this new, dark way that the Force moved around her…

She clumsily dressed in her usual clothes and headed out from her quarters to meet Leia. After a short walk, she arrived to Leia’s quarters. She knocked, and a moment later Leia answered the door. “Rey,” Leia said, greeting her with a warm smile. “I’m glad you made it.” 

She led her over to a small table with chairs situated in the corner of the room. “So as you know, I’ve been contacting my allies in the outer rim, trying to rebuild what is left of the Resistance.” Rey nodded in acknowledgement while Leia continued. “It turns out that some have responded and intend to meet us here. Today.”

This took Rey by surprise. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Rey questioned.

“I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up until I knew for certain they would be coming.”

Rey paused for a moment before continuing with her questions. “Why are you telling this to only me right now?”

“Well…” Leia began. “Each of my allies has asked me about you and if the rumors were true. Rumors that you’d battled and resisted Kylo Ren and lived to tell the multiple tales. Rumors that you are his equal in the light…”

Rey swallowed hard. Little did Leia know about the Force bond that she shared with Kylo Ren, or that she was letting him teach her the dark side of the Force, or that she was in fact no longer resisting him…

“They’ve all asked to meet you personally. I need to know if you’re up for that.”

“Of course,” Rey said, and she hoped the weird way her voice sounded didn’t betray her. She wasn’t the beacon of light that Leia and her allies thought she was. Not anymore.

“Glad to hear it,” said Leia. “They’ll be arriving this afternoon.”

\---

Leia’s allies from Naboo and Tatuine and other planets she hadn’t heard of arrived. Rey met with them, regaled her stories, showed them how she could use the Force. And as each hopeful fighter left her company to return to Leia, she breathed a sigh of relief. Her time spent with Kylo Ren could remain a secret for now.

Rey returned to her quarters, anxious for when Kylo Ren would arrive.

\---

He arrived at last. She didn’t know why she doubted that he would show up. He always showed up. He spent a long moment staring at Rey’s face…  

He took a deep breath. “You look…” He paused, like he didn’t know the right word. “Stressed.”

Rey looked down at her hands before looking at Kylo. “Leia had an interesting request for me today,” Rey said, choosing her words carefully.

His face contorted itself slightly when she said Leia’s name. “I see,” he murmured quietly.

And then that attractive Force between them was palpable again, intense and overwhelming and almost hard to resist. Rey looked at Kylo Ren, and knew by the look on his face that he felt it too.

“What is this?” Rey asked, motioning to the inexplicable pull she felt toward him.

“I thought about this last night after we met. I _think_ ” – he seemed bothered by the fact that he did not _know_ – “that our Force bond has grown beyond just a mental connection…” His voice trailed off as he swallowed hard. “I think it’s strengthened to be some kind of mental _and_ physical connection.”

“Oh.” It was the best response that Rey could come up with. What did it mean that their Force bond now entailed a physical connection? She didn’t let herself fully consider all the possible implications of that…

It seemed Kylo Ren was feeling as anxious about the idea as she was. “Let’s start the lesson,” he offered. Rey was grateful for the change of topic. “Do you remember when we first encountered each other in the forest on Takodana?”

She nodded, remembering the terrifying moment she first laid eyes on his masked face.

“And do you remember how I seized control of your body? Made you unable to move?”

And she remembered. How he made her immobile while his cloaked figure approached her. How he’d searched her mind for information about the map to Luke…

“I’m going to show you how to do that. Come stand in front of me.” Kylo removed his cloak and gloves while Rey stood up and walked towards him. “I’m going to take control of you first. Don’t resist it. I want you to pay attention to the way the Force wraps around you as I do. Ready?” She nodded.

Kylo reached his hand out in front of him, and after a moment of silence, she felt it. Her muscles became useless as she began to feel constrained. She focused on the way the Force moved around her. It felt like a thousand dark tendrils wrapping around every part of her body, tightening themselves so she could no longer move. The tendrils seemed to fuse together until she felt completely cloaked by the darkness of his Force. It was terrifying and suffocating and numbing, but she didn’t resist it.

Rey wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he eventually released his hold on her. However, despite the absence of Force hold, Rey still found her muscles to be numb and ineffective. She collapsed onto her knees on the floor in front of him. Rey looked up to see Kylo smirking. “Sometimes it takes a few moments to regain control.”

“I’ve noticed,” Rey said, acknowledging the obvious.

Kylo reached a hand down to her. He was offering to help her stand. Rey paused for a moment… It was a surprisingly sweet gesture.

She placed her hand in his, and she felt the same surge in the Force that she’d felt when they touched hands through their Force bond before. Warm and solid and nothing like the darkness that had constrained her just moments before.  It was not until he’d pulled her to her feet that she noticed something else.

Rey could feel Kylo’s presence in her mind again. The mental wall she’d built specifically to keep him out now seemed to have vanished. It only took her another moment to realize that _his_ mental wall was absent too. She looked up to find Kylo already staring at her. She could feel his confusion, his useless attempts to resurrect his mental wall. But there was more distracting him at this moment as well. She could feel the way the warmth of their touch emanated throughout his body, how it made him feel vulnerable and nervous, how he thought it felt _good_ …

He pulled his hand away from hers. Instantly her mental wall snapped back into place, like it had never been gone. She attempted to penetrate Kylo’s mind, but found the smooth darkness of his mental wall as well.

They both stared at each other in silence. It seemed Kylo was not going to speak first, so Rey decided to restate the obvious. “Our mental walls disappeared when we touched.”

Kylo smirked when she said this. It was the same smirk he’d done when she collapsed to the floor not long ago. “You obviously weren’t paying attention.”

Rey gave him a puzzled look.

He continued. “Our mental walls didn’t disappear. Didn’t you feel it?” He looked at her and it must have been obvious that she, in fact, had not felt that. “Our mental walls merged. It became one wall surrounding both our minds. I’m sure we could have kept anyone else out, except each other.”

She felt shocked. Partly because she hadn’t noticed the merging. Partly because she didn’t understand what was happening with their Force bond.

He was no longer looking at her, but was looking at his hands instead. He seemed uneasy. “Does our Force bond make you uncomfortable?” Rey asked.

He paused for a moment. “It’s just not what I was expecting.” Rey thought about pressing for more, but then thought better of it. “We still have to finish your lesson,” he said, seeming desperate to change the topic.

He took a few steps away from her. “Your turn. Use the Force to constrain me.”

Rey reached her hand out. She allowed the darkness of the Force to pool inside her mind before casting it out through her hand and in the direction of Kylo Ren.

She immediately knew she was doing the right thing. The power that the dark side brought her was almost a little too easy to control. She could feel the ribbons of darkness coiling around Kylo’s legs, arms, torso. She willed them to pull tight and they did, as if the ribbons were just an extension of her own thoughts. She looked at Kylo and there was a fire and a passion in her eyes. At this moment in time, she held Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, captive in the grasp of her Force. She curled the fingers of her outstretched hand and the ribbons constricted further around his body. He was absolutely trapped by her. She liked it more than she cared to admit.

She wanted to test one more thing. She opened her outstretched hand and used the Force to physically move him, pushing him backwards until he slammed against the wall behind him. She held him there for a moment, relishing the feeling of control for just a little longer before releasing him.

His legs buckled and he slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, panting.

“That was incredible,” he said between unsteady breaths, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I didn’t think you’d figure it out so fast.”

Rey took a few steps forward and sat down on the floor in front of him. “I have a good teacher.”

They stared at each other for a long time before he looked away. Then she saw the slight pink color that was starting to stain his cheeks. He was blushing. Rey had no idea what he was thinking about, but she wanted to know.

Then she noticed what he was looking at. Their hands were only inches apart on the floor. His breathing slowed and there was suddenly silence. She felt the attractive pull of their Force bond again, and she decided not to resist it this time. Rey moved her hand towards his. She glanced up to his face to see if he was still watching and he was, never blinking.

She moved her hand forward, achingly slowly, until their fingertips just barely touched. Warmth seemed to emanate from their contact and their mental walls merged into one. She could see his thoughts. It was not what she expected.


End file.
